The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
