so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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