this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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