he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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