I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize