Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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