The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
