If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
