She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
