my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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