His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
