I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
