We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
