Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
