Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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