What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
