I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
