theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
