I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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