The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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