ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
