The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize