He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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