Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
