I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
