Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
