omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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