Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So much rum. So many feels.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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