He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There was a lot of him and a little penis
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
