I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Randomize
