Need sex. Gaining weight.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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