I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
