Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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