Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
