You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
