ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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