I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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