You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
