So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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