You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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