Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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