Dual....:-)
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
