I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize