i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
should my penis look like a turkey
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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