just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
