Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
