using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
