I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize