Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
