I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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