why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
