Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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