Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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