Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
pray to the hookup gods
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
