Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
