this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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