But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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