so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
