He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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