I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
