Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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