doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize